From the moment I stepped off the train in St. Jean I felt the energy of anticipation from all the Perigrinos who were arriving. There is shared feeling of emotional vulnerability within the anticipation and preparation at St. Jean. When I checked in my Gite I met a Jewish woman with whom I ended up having dinner and some intense getting to know you conversations. It was her plan to spend a day in St. Jean and so she would be leaving on the 9th. We only spent a few hours getting acquainted, but to this day we are in conversation on occasion through What’s App. Since I am in my 70’s I have a tendency to create categories within which I place people, not to pigeon hole them, but to create a safe space for a deeper experience. Since my children range from ages 33 – 48 and my grandkids from 7 – 25 I have convenient places within which to form a relationship. If you are less than 50 you are my Camino Kids, if you are less than 30 you are my Camino Grandkids. Since my family relationships with my adult children and grandchildren are Adult to Adult relationships, it is natural for me to feel an equal relationship with the people I meet.
On my first day on the Camino I left early before the sun was up. It was a promise of a beautiful Sunny day to meet the challenge of the Pyrenees mountains. Within the first hour of my ascent I met a young German named Hendrik, my first Camino Grandson. It was an instant connection and we walked and talked and shared as though we had known each other for a long time. Hendrik was 24 and had recently graduated from University and was starting his first job on November 1st. His Camino was about the transition from a student to worker. I happened to be a similar age to his Grandfather, who he believed would never do such a thing as walk 500 miles. We walked, we talked, we stopped for breakfast, and soon met Nara who at that time was a 31-year-old Korean/American woman who grew up in New Jersey. She had lived there since she was 2 years old. My first Camino Daughter and it really felt like I was walking with my family, and it was only the first day. I felt privileged to be walking with these amazing young adults and even more blessed as they authentically shared their life journey with me. There is something about the energy field on the Camino. Shirley McClain affirms that it is a spiritual ley line that has a consciousness of its own.
In my previous Camino’s I did not fully understand these dynamics and the intimacy I experienced in these moments often scared me and I would run away from them, because I thought somehow I had to be alone. On this Camino I understood the power of these connections and the transformation that takes place in our relationships on this challenging journey. I was in the space of just going with the flow and allowed them to decide who they wanted to walk with rather than try and script each day, including who I walked with. At the first Albergue in Roncesvalles we were in different parts of the building and yet the next day we somehow ended up walking together. In Zuberi we stayed in different Alberbues and I thought Hendrix was going to walk to the next town when I left him to check into my accommodations. Nara had helped organize a dinner in her Albergue and found me and invited me to join them. The next morning we somehow all ended up walking together again and several others joined us at various times. I kept thinking they were probably getting tired of this old man and they would probably take off with their peers of which there were plenty.
During that first 4 days the three of us ended up meeting the people who would ultimately become our primary Camino Family which continued to grow as we connected with more and more people. Hendrik ended up spending most of his time with a group of people more his age, and Nara tended to stay more with the main group. We all walked together and alone, and many days I would get up early and spend several hours if not most of the day walking alone. Every connection I made was meaningful and authentic. My time alone was a great blessing, and my time with my Camino family was affirming and a great joy. I must have adopted at least 25 kids and grandkids along the way, and every one of them inspired me. The truth is that often they had more difficulty keeping up with me than I had keeping up with them. There were a collection of all ages in our family and from many different countries and cultures. To me these relationships affirmed the goodness of humanity and has inspired me to see the good and call if forth in everyone I meet. At the end of the Camino when I was on my way to Madrid, I wrote a text to several of my Camino Kids and grandkids. The following is my exchange with Hendrix:
“Hi Hendrik, I am on the train to Madrid to catch my flight home tomorrow. As I reflect on our time together walking and in our other times on the journey, I feel compelled to affirm the blessing you are and will continue to be throughout your life journey. You possess qualities of kindness, compassion, and a compelling curiosity that is contagious. From one who is moving toward the end of life to one who is just at the beginning of their journey I wish you much success and joy as you continue to live an authentic life. You will most certainly find your way of that I am sure. Much love and many blessings to you on your journey. Please stay in touch. Your Camino friend, Stephen”
He responded a couple of days later:
“Hey Stephen !!
I hope you are safe and sound at home already (maybe drinking hot cocoa while watching over the lake?)!
I am sitting in the next bus heading to Lisbon now (hoping I catch both good weather and some waves).
Your message meant a lot to me and I had to let it sink in a little bit before I answer in detail now
You are one of the persons that inspired me the most on the Camino and I can say by heart that you definitely served (and will serve) as a big role model in terms of how you don’t judge other people and try to always see the best in them. You made me rethink my relationship I have with my father and grandfather and I really want to improve on that
You kinda allowed me to see my problems in a different light and I am very thankful for the new perspectives!! While walking to Finisterre, I thought about what this Camino might provide me at the end and I think I sharpened my overall senses both mentally and physically (and right now my body tells me to get up my butt and move it cause it isn’t used to sitting still in a bus anymore 😂) Tibor finished that thought by saying it is all a beautiful mess.
I will give my best to try in touch and I will also do some research on unity when I’m back in Berlin. Until then: stay safe, healthy and please stay just the way you are, people like you make the world a better place and build bridges between generations.
Hendrik ❤️”
My 3rd Camino inspired me to write the book “Heaven is Walking the Camino de Santiago” and publish it on Amazon. Walking the Camino made me realize what a better world we would live in if we could just be with and treat others the way we do on the Camino. I realize the importance of these powerful connections and relationships and country, culture or language are no barrier to deep, authentic and meaningful interactions.
Buen Camino,
Stephen Towles
Camino Moments 