In my 2021 Camino, which started in Fromista, my business was to prove to myself that I could make it.  After the way I left my Camino in 2019, having made it Carrion de Los Condes with infected feet and an early exit, I was in need of some completion.  There was not a lot of companionship on this journey because of COVID and the low number of pilgrims that were predominately Spanish who very often could not speak English.  It was more of an introverted Camino in the sense that I spent a lot of time with myself and my own thoughts and feelings.  As I was approaching O’Cebreiro, which is one of the highest spots on the Camino Frances, I was told to stop at the church in that town.  It was because the church claimed to have the Holy Grail.  As we know, the Holy Grail is the chalice Jesus used at the last Supper. 

              To me the Holy Grail is less of an object and more of an experience.  It really represents an experience of the spiritual realm and all it holds for us in our life journey.  Regardless of my view, I was feeling in that moment like I was finished with the Camino, and I just needed to finish it and be done with it, yet I still had a week to go.  I was feeling a bit sarcastic and still I decided to stop at the church.  The Chalice of course is beautiful and ornate, but very unlike what Jesus would have used.  But it did make me think a bit about his journey, his mission, his intentions to transform his people and culture.  It was a quiet moment of reflection for me.  On my way out the door, I noticed a Pilgrims Prayer by Franciscanos de Santiago that was posted, and I stopped to read it, it is as follows:

Although I may have traveled all the roads,

crossed mountains and valleys from East to West.

If I have not discovered the freedom to be myself,

I have arrived nowhere.

Although I may have shared all my possessions

with people of other languages and cultures,

made friends with Pilgrims of a thousand paths,

or shared Albergues with saints and princes,

If I am not capable of forgiving my neighbor tomorrow,

I have arrived nowhere. 

Although I may have carried my pack from beginning to end,

and waited for every Pilgrim in need of encouragement,

or given my bed to one who arrived later than I,

or given my bottle of water in exchange for nothing.

If upon returning to my home and work,

I am not able to create brotherhood or to make happiness,

I have arrived nowhere.

Although I may have had food and water each day,

and enjoyed a roof and shower every night.

Or may have had my injuries well attended,

if I have not discovered in all that that the love of God is Real.

I have arrived nowhere.

Although I have seen all the monuments,

and contemplated the best sunsets;

Although I may have learned greetings in every language,

or tasted the clean water from every fountain;

if I have not discovered who is the author of so much free

beauty and so much peace.

I have arrived nowhere.

If from today I do not continue walking on my path,

Searching and living according to what I have learned;

if from today I do not see in every person friend or foe,

a companion on the Camino;

if from today I cannot recognize God, the God of love

as the one God of my life.

I have arrived nowhere.

              In reading this prayer, I just metaphorically drank from the Holy Grail, and it tasted wonderful.  It was as though a weight had been lifted from me in that moment.  The realization of why I came on the journey and what it was about.  The healing powers of the Holy Grail come in many ways, and these words that filled my mind and heart changed everything for me.  Not only did I no longer feel alone, I felt lighter, healthier, happier, and filled with clarity about my journey.  From that point forward there were no thoughts of “I am done with this”, just thoughts of feeling the energy of spirit move in and through me.  That evening I met a wonderful woman from Sweden at a community dinner and we had a nice conversation.  We did not walk together, but we did have dinner in Santiago and shared some stories.  I began to more deeply appreciate the friends I had made on the Journey.  With the exception of one day when I walked with an Irishman from Sarria to Portomarin, I mostly continued to walk alone, but I no longer felt alone and when I arrived in Santiago I was emotional and grateful and ready to do it again from start to finish. 

Buen Camino